Okay so I just suddenly felt a wave of emotion. :/
Crying being one of it which I can tell you rarely happens.
Maybe it's just that I'm pms-ing at the moment? I don't know
All i know is I just suddenly miss my brother, John so much.

I miss his awesome-ness
I miss playing CS with him and watching him shoot all the enemies while screaming his head off when he got shot.
I miss hanging out with him and staying in his room.
I miss being able to go to Australia just to visit him and see how he is.
I miss being able to know that I've got a big brother to look after me to reassure me that everything is okay.
I miss going into his room and playing card games with all us cousins together.
I miss his presence.
I miss the tiny arguments we'd have.
I miss the bets we'd do.
I don't like looking at family photos and noticing that it isn't and never will be... complete.

Now your gone...
I hope your in a better place...
I hope I'll find out one day what the true cause was.

If I could tell you something right now...
it'd be...
Thank you for being the Best Brother and for looking after me for all those years. You've been there to guide me even though I know there were times when you got so pissed at me.
I love you Ko, John and I miss you.

If I had one wish...
I wished you'd come back Ko.
I miss youu